More than the greatest love the world
Good morning, Mrs Levin
Good morning, Danny
Has known
- Where have you been? - I was getting bubble gum
Okay, good. Get the bag. Get the bag
Instead of spending all that money on
space travel, they could just end the war
Alison, can we talk politics
after we pack the car? - Feel like I'm gonna give birth
Marty, could you help your mother with the kitchen things?
Mom, this is a process, a scientific process, okay?
I'm gonna start to pack
Ma, what is the point of me having a plan for the backseat
- Here you go, Daddy - Come on. This is serious
I need my record player!
You can live without it for two weeks
It's bigger than last year!
- Stop it! - You stop it!
- Okay, okay! Knock it off - He's pushing me!
Be good to each other
Alison, move over. Give your brother some room
Why do I always have to move?
We're too crowded!
That's the beauty of the whole thing, darling
Crowded is good
- Enough already! - She started it
There's nothing to do up there
Why do we always have to do the same stupid thing every summer?
- Children, please! - That's a good question, Pearl
Why do we do the same stupid thing every summer?
Because we do
Can I have my sandwich now?
Danny, 1 hour, 11 min. to the Red Apple sign
- Are you paying attention? - That's a record, Daddy
Danny, Danny, bo-banny Banana, fanna, fo-fanny
Fee, fi, fo-manny Danny
Alison, Alison, bo-balison Banana, fanna, fo-falison
- Sing! Sing! - Daddy!
Sing or I'm gonna crash! If you don't sing, I'm gonna crash!
Keep your eyes on the road!
- That's better - Let's do Chuck
No Chuck. We don't do Chuck
You never let me do Chuck
When you're married, you can do Chuck. Right, baby?
No one else could love you more Nadie podrķa quererte mas
Than the greatest love the world has known
Ma! Hippies!
This is the love that I give to you
Some feckuckteh hairdos they have
Ow! Get off!
More than the single words
I try to sing
I only live to love you
More each day
More than you'll ever know
My arms got to hold you so
My life will be in your keeping
Waking, sleeping Laughing, weeping
Longer than always is a long, long
Long time
But far beyond forever
Welcome back to Dr Fogler's, everyone
The Fourth of July barbecue will be held by the lake at 6:00
At 6:00 for the Fourth of July barbecue
Let's see how fast you can put the hoop down
and get the pot inside the bungalow, ready?
On your mark, get set, go! Go. Go, go, go, go, go!
Daddy, tell me how fast we got here
3 hours and 42 minutes with a corned beef on rye at the Red Apple
2 hours and 23 minutes with salami and eggs at the Red Apple
- Bullshit - 1 hour and 57 minutes
with two hot dogs and mustard and sauerkraut at the Red Apple
Bullshit!
- Stop saying that word, Daddy - I'm sorry, Danny
But Fogler is such a liar. Come on. An hour and 57 minutes?
Who can do it in an hour and 57 minutes? Nobody
Let's go swimming! Let's go swimming! Let's go swimming!
- Did we forget the onions? - Look in the A&P bag
I am not sharing a room with him
You're not wearing that shirt
- What's wrong with it? - Just change it before you go out
- These onions are mushy - Mother, I have to have privacy
Where's my wooden bowl?
I'm not sleeping in the same room with his guns!
Cap guns, Alison. I think Joan Baez will forgive you
Enough, enough. I'll sleep with you in the bedroom
- Daniel, you sleep in the kitchen - No!
Don't give me no. Not too much salt
Daniel, let your sister get changed
Get changed. Go ahead
Why did I even have to come here?
Attention, everyone... The ice cream man is on the premises
The ice cream man is on the premises
Can I look like that when I grow up?
You looked like that, I wouldn't be your friend
- Hi, sweetheart - Oh, my goodness, why, thank you
How many calories in this again?
You're gorgeous, too, Pearl, but you hide your light under a bushel
- Alison! - What?
You asked me to change, and I changed
- I see Alison's nipples - Shut up!
Just make sure you're back in time for the barbecue, young lady
I don't believe in July 4th. It's patriotic puke
This is Daddy's last chance to be with us
He's gonna be working all week
Well, it's not my fault he's a slave to the establishment
Could you just for one afternoon put aside your beliefs?
It's easy for you to say, 'cause you don't have any!
I can't believe we have a teenager
- We're old - Not old. She's old
She's almost the age I was when I had her
I just don't want her to wind up like us
What's wrong with us?
Marty
This whole decade's gone by
and the most important decision I make during any week
is whether or not to go to the A&P or Waldbaum's
That's easy, A&P. Their Wing Dings are fresher
I'm serious
I know
You're lettin' her get you crazy, Pearl
Don't let her get you crazy
Yeah
Attention, everyone. At 2:00 in the casino,
Bernie and Shirley Pike
will be showing slides of Reuben's bar mitzvah
That's 2:00
How does your week look?
Same as always
Anything new happening at the shop?
Nothing new happens at the shop ever
I was just asking
I wish you could stay longer
I know, so do I
Why won't you talk with Sid? Just...
Please, don't start with that now, okay?
Just ask for a few days
Neil gets a whole week off in August
Yeah, well...
Neil doesn't have a boss like Sid
and Neil doesn't have two kids to feed, all right?
You have enough cash?
I'm fine
Your mother's wooden bowl...
The scratchy blue blanket. That's the heavy one, you remember?
We need the big thermos. Not the blue ones
And Alison wants her shampoo
Bye, Neil!
- See ya, sweetie - Miss us
- Bye, Marty - I wrote it down
- Neil, what time you got? - 7:35
- Set. Go - Bye, Dad
Bye, sweetie. Give me a kiss
- Call me, okay? - All right
Six dot
Come on, Pearl. You remember what it was like
- It was never like that - What? You weren't a teenager?
For about two weeks... East
It's the marijuana you have to watch out for
Sooner or later, they all smoke marijuana
You get ants in your pants
You wanna screw everything in sight
Oh, that's beautiful Green
Is that supposed to comfort me?
The Blouse Man is on the premises
Here we go
The Blouse Man is on the premises
This make me look too busty?
There's no such thing as too busty
Give me a bigger size
Here's your bigger size
- Very funny - Oh!
I'm sorry
It's just blouses. Don't worry about it
Let me help
I got it. Can I help you find something?
No, thanks
Wait, Lillian. That's the one I wanted
Excuse me. You got another one of these?
No, ladies. I'm sorry. I don't
You gonna hold on to this the rest of the afternoon?
Ma'am, what's your name?
Selma
- You want my honest opinion, Selma? - Yeah
With those sea-green eyes
I think you're better off with a lighter color anyway
Excuse me. Check this out
See this?
Look. Look at that
With that shade of green, you're practically sparklin'
- All right? - Oh, yeah
They sparkle, Selma
I tell you what. Since you ladies have been such good sports about this
consider these blouses a gift
Thank you. You're a very nice young man
You're welcome
Thank you, but I don't need a gift
However, this blouse is not worth more than $5
That's cool
- You want the hanger? - Do you need it?
No. You take it
I hope you like the blouse
That's a strange way of doing business
A little promotion. It'll even out in the end
Excuse me, mister... You got this in red?
Only in a 16. Yellow looks pretty good to me
I'm not really a yellow kind of a girl
No?
What kind of girl are ya?
How about that yellow?
What happened to the old Blouse Man?
Oh, he retired
I bought his bus and his route
He had more variety
Did he?
Carried a little something extra each time
Jewelry or sunglasses...
Think so, huh?
Well, all right. Thanks for the tip
Tadpoles!
Tadpoles over here right now. Salamanders, stop the noise
Hurry up. Go right over here
Tadpoles, you're behaving very, very well
Danny! Put away the guns!
Jeffrey, would you take his guns away?
Danny, you're not supposed to bring guns to camp
It'll just be another minute, okay?
Do orthodox girls have to wear wigs?
It looks like a wig
- Hey - What's up, Myra?
- This is my friend Carl - How ya doin'?
- You a counselor over here? - Yeah, as always
- I gotta go. Nice meetin'ya - Nice meeting you
- I gotta go too. I'll see you later - All right. I'll see ya
- Butterflies - Okay, butterflies, time to go
Does anybody know who that little girl is over there?
Is there anybody's mother around?
What group do you have? I have the chipmunks
What's the lifeguard's name?
Sorry. Just checking to see if it's a wig
We didn't mean anything by it
You shouldn't make fun of other people
I'm sorry
Right over here!
Okay
- It's Ross Epstein - Skunks
All right, skunks Come on. Let's go. It's us
Come on. Come on
It's not a good morning, Colonel. There's a radio hidden
A radio is against the orders of the Imperial Nipponese Army
There is a radio in this hut
What?
This is so boring
I order those responsible to hand it over immediately
Asking you just once more, where is it hidden?
Where is what hidden, sir? I know nothing about a wireless
Then, by God, you should!
I'll have you court-martialed, and it'll show on your record
- Ralph, what do you know about this? - Nothing
I just feel like we're always doing the same thing
and all the girls are doing something different now
So, I just think maybe I should frost it
You ever feel trapped by your life, Rhoda?
Oh, sure. I mean, I'm stuck with it
You know, I wonder how I would look as a redhead
Why are you stuck with it?
What... What should I do, Pearl? Become an astronaut?
You don't have kids, and you still got a lot of freedom
Yeah, I'm free to sit around and watch everybody else with their kids
You know, I swear, every single time I go to Poppy's,
and I have a pickle while I'm waiting for my ice cream
Neil asks me if I'm pregnant
I say to him, "When are you gonna get it through your thick skull?"
"I love pickles. You put a free bowl in front of me, I eat them"
- You gonna try again? - I don't know
Then Neil and I wouldn't be able
to take our annual trips to the Riviera
Sometimes I try to picture my life
if I hadn't had Alison so young
Maybe my life wouldn't be that different. I don't know
Sometimes I just wish I was a whole other person
Yuck
Attention, campers
Please report to the casino for a meeting with Dr Fogler after lunch
All campers are to report directly to the casino after lunch
- You ready for lunch, cowboy? - Yep
- Where'd you get that? - What?
- That licorice - The Blouse Man
Honey, what'd I tell you about taking candy from strangers?
He's not a stranger. He's the Blouse Man
- Is he a friend of the family? - You should have been more specific
- Don't be fresh - Is he a friend of the family now?
- Go to your room - This is my room
I asked you to watch out for your brother
and you just let anyone give him candy?
It wasn't anyone. It was the Blouse Man
All right, both of you, just eat your lunch
You shouldn't be giving candy to children
Oh, hey. Which ones are yours?
Just keep your licorice sticks to yourself
No, I'll try to be more conscientious
I didn't mean any harm I just, uh...
I quit cigarettes, you know
so I need something to help me with the craving
Oh
I took your advice... The, uh, shades...
Jewelry, all this stuff, goin' like hotcakes
I made a killin' today. You're a smart lady
Oh, well, I just figured...
you know, women would buy them, and...
- They did - They did. Good
Hey, thanks. You know, I got the perfect blouse for you
Wait till you see this
No, no, I'm not here to buy a blouse
No, no, no, check this out. A friend of mine makes them up in Kingston
It's a new line I'm carrying
Yeah, it's- it's a tie-dye. It's not bad
- No one will buy these - They will if they see you in one
Want to try it on? What do you think?
Maybe the purple one
- Which one? - That one
This one? Yeah. It's not bad either. It's pretty good
You want to try it? What have you got to lose?
All right
Jesus Christ. Here
Thank you
- Hey, what's your name? - Pearl
- Want a beer or somethin'? - A beer? No, no!
How's that fit?
My husband's gonna hate it
Are you kiddin' me?
He's gonna love you in it. Look how sexy you look
Check it out. Back up a little
See? I mean, it fits really well
Keep it a couple of days, you know? You don't like it, you give it back
If you do, pay me later
Or don't. I mean, you're doing me a favor just wearing it
All right
Wait a second. Come here
You don't want to go around with that thing
- Okay? - Yep. There you go
- Really looks good I'm not kidding - Thank you
When do you come back here anyway?
I mean, what's your schedule, if I wanted to return it?
My schedule? I don't have a... I don't have a schedule
But, uh, I'll tell you what
I'll give you my number
I live right in town
And, uh, call me anytime you want
Okay
Pinkies
It's tie-dyed
Stop it
How can you not love it here?
Look at this. An army barracks with lawn furniture
This is unbelievable
I was over at Grossingers, as I was in the lobby there
That's where I'm staying In the lobby at Grossingers
They gave me a room. I walked in. There was no ceiling on the room
I called down to the clerk I said, "There's no ceiling on my room"
He said, "Don't worry. The fellow upstairs don't walk around much"
And now I want to invite you all up here on the floor to dance
because it's my turn to laugh
For your love
I would do anything
For your love
For your kiss
Do you think you could stop looking at her for a minute?
I don't know
That's my girl
I would go anywhere
For your kiss
That's it. Get a little cozy, a little sexy here
Come on, everybody
I was thinking...
maybe we could do Chuck a different way
- What do you mean? - I don't know
I thought maybe we could, um...
experiment
Okay
- We don't have to - No, no, it's okay
No, it's all right
We were doing Chuck pretty good the old way
- We are. We do - Yeah?
I just thought it might be fun
What did you have in mind?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know
- I'm sorry. I just... - No. No, no
That's all right
Marty
Okay, pretty lady
There's a posse on my tail, so I ain't got much time
- Reach for the sky - Shh...
Come here. You're gonna hurt yourself
I know. They're loaded. I'll put them down
Is that different enough?
- Drive safe - I will
I'll see ya... Hold this for me
- See ya, cowboy - Bye, Daddy
- Good-bye - Here, darling. Take your jacket
- Thank you - Drive safe. Don't speed
Thanks
- Hey, hop in. I'll give you a ride - What?
Get in, and... I'll give you a ride
No, thank you. I'm fine
I'm going your way. Come on!
Well, if you're sure it's no trouble
It's no trouble. Get out of the rain, for Christ's sake. Come on
- Here. Here's a towel - Thank you
- All right? - Yeah
Here we go
Here's another towel
Looks like that's all she wrote
Those things look kind of painful
Bet it looks good curly
That's the way she feels about you
Attention, the knish man is on the premises
The knish man is on the premises
So?
- No - No?
- That's what I pay you for, "no"? - The cards don't lie
Maybe they're subject to interpretation
Selma, does this look like a vacation card?
You wanna go to Miami? Go to Miami, but...
Bubbie...
Just a minute, sweetheart. I'm finishing up a reading
- Could you come now? - All right
Come back tomorrow. We'll ask the tea leaves. Don't touch that
Coming, love
What is it?
What is it, my shainehkuh, huh?
What is it, darling?
Oh, my God
Mazel tov
Why'd you hit me?
It's a tradition
My mother, your great-grandmother, Sonia - may she rest in peace -
- she did the same thing to me - It's a stupid tradition
It's the stupidest goddamn tradition
It's true. You know what I did? I slapped her right back
Bandeet!
- What's going on in here? - Pearl
- What? - I got news
Today Alison became a woman
How do you feel?
What kind should I get?
Well, you know, these are pretty good
What about tampons?
You've already had a big enough shock. Just get these
- Hey, girls - Hi
Hi
- What? What was that? - Nothing
How are you?
Attention, everyone
Will the person who took Eleanor Gelfand's thongs,
please return them to the main house?
She's been hiding away for an hour
She didn't even eat any supper
I bet she has cramps. Poor thing
I have my first date
What?
Ross is taking me to Fun Fair, the go-carts
Go-carts?
Mother, this is the most exciting night of my life
You're not gonna ruin it for me
No! Of course not. I was just worried
Maybe you weren't feeling up to it
I'm fine
You look so womanly
You see, my shainehkuh. You become a woman, the world looks brighter
Don't tell Daddy I got my period
Long-distance telephone call for Alison Kantrowitz
It's your father! You're a woman now, Alison
Mazel tov, darling
And may you be blessed
with a happy marriage and many, many beautiful children
- Sometime today - How long are we gonna wait here?
I'll be right with you, Bill
Oh, Marty
The whole weekend's shot
Everybody and their brother wants their TV to be working
- so they can watch the moon landing - Sid, I am depending on you
I have to see the man on the moon
Sid's even gonna keep the shop open on Sunday
There's shmuts all over the wire!
Honey, we were counting on you
I know, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I really am
It's Sanka
I forgot I put it on top of the set
I'll be thinking of you while I'm watching
I'll be thinking of you too
- I wanna talk to him - You explain this to Danny
- Okay. Hey, cowboy - Daddy
Why can't you come?
Danny, I gotta work, okay? I'm sorry
- You watch your mom for me? - I wanted you to come
Summertime
Time, time
Time
The living's easy
Four dot
Fish are - Big bam
Jumpin' now - Dot
Hey, the cotton now
Cotton's high
Not so high
Your daddy's rich
And your ma's so good-lookin' babe
She's lookin' good now
Hello?
Hello. Can I talk with the man who sells the blouses?
- Who's this? - Pearl
Hey! How ya doin', Pearl?
I wasn't sure if you'd remember who... who I was
I remember who you are
Hey, that tie-dye work out all right?
- He liked it, didn't he? - Yeah
- What's up? - I... I was wondering...
I wondered if you had plans for watching the...
the moon walk
Fogler, you outdid yourself
- It's a masterpiece - Terrific
Hi, hon
Can I go to a concert?
Which ones look better with this?
- The black ones - Yeah?
It's near White Lake. All the counselors are getting tickets
- Is it cool out? - Medium
Here
It was supposed to be in Woodstock, and they changed it
and now it's so close by
Nobody ever liked this dress
- So can I? - When is it again?
August 15 through 17 People are gonna camp out
What?
- Everyone's gonna be there - Alison
You're 14 years old. You're not camping out
Why are you getting all dressed up
to watch some stupid guys walk on the moon?
It's not stupid
- It's important - Please, Mom
I mean, I have to go!
Honey, I'm sorry
You're not old enough
First, everyone tells me I'm a woman now
Then I'm not old enough?
I hate you!
Lights on
Down two and a half
Give me some
Forward. Forward
Come on. Give me some
Three feet down, two and a half Pickin'up some dust
Three feet, two and a half down
Faint shadow. Four forward
Four forward. Drifting to the right a little
Six, down a half. Thirty seconds forward
Contact light
Okay, engines stop
APA out of descent
Command override off Engine arm off
Houston, uh, Tranquility Base here
The Eagle has landed
Yes!
Unbelievable
It will be several hours before the astronauts don their space suits
and Neil Armstrong takes his first step
Are they walking on the moon yet?
- Not yet, sweetheart - Shh.. Sweetheart
Lillian, I've got such a headache
I need to get some air, or maybe I should lie down
You're gonna miss the best part
I knew this one guy who worked in Moise's Butcher Shop
He cut the tip of his finger off on purpose
I thought I'd get myself into a car accident
Just burn your draft card
And go to jail?
Joan Baez's husband didn't cut off his fingertip
It's a French kiss You have to open your mouth
One of these moments
You're gonna rise
Rise up singin'
You're gonna
Spread your wings
Child you take
Take to the sky
Where are we?
Lord, the sky
Come on in back. I wanna show you something
Nothin's goin' to harm me now
Na, na-na, na, na-na, na
I never saw one so small
It's cool, isn't it?
My kid brother picked it up over in Asia
What was he doing over there?
- Killin' people - Oh
Is he still over there?
I don't know
Maybe...
He's been missing for four years
Oh, I'm sorry. I...
I should tell my husband about these. He fixes TVs
Usually he's here on the weekends, but...
he had to fix a lot of sets
No one wanted to miss the, um...
the, uh...
moon landing
I wish they'd step outside already
Today
Want me to stop, Pearl?
I know what I wanna do
But I don't know what for
To be living for you
Is all I
Want to do
To be loving you
It'll all be there
Oh, God
When my dreams come true
What is your name?
Walker
Today
You'll make me say that I
Is that your last name?
Somehow will change
My last name is Jerome
Today
You're backwards
You look into my eyes
It seems to me I'm exactly where I should be
To be any more
I have to sit down
Than all I am would be a lie
I'm so full of love
I could burst apart and start to cry
Today
Everything you want I swear
It all will come true
Today
I realized how much I'm in love with you
With you standing here
I can tell the world what it means to love
To go on from here
I can't use words
They don't say enough
Please, please
Listen to me
It's taken so long to come true
It's all for you
That's one small step for man
one giant leap for mankind
What are you doing?
Are you sure you want...
One, two...
Three
Concentrate
- What happened to Pearl last night? - She had a headache
You got a chair right next to the house
What chair? What house?
Are you allowed to kiss guys?
Guys I can kiss. Bacon is a different story
Did you ever tongue kiss?
That's disgusting
It wasn't
You and Ross?
Yeah!
Did you do anything else?
Not yet
Attention, ladies... The Blouse Man is on the premises
The Blouse Man is on the premises
How are you doing? You want to try this one? It looked good last week
- I'll try it - It'll look good this week too
Take your time. I'm waiting
How about you, Mrs Kantrowitz?
Can I help you find something?
I'm not sure
That looks nice
- How about this? - Try this on
Attention, ladies...
Will everyone who signed up for the mah-jongg tournament
please report to the casino now?
Let's go. Let's save a little money
We begin in Five minutes
That's Five minutes, ladies
There's a man who's been out sailin'
In a decade full of dreams
And he takes her to a schooner
And he treats her like a queen
Bearing beads from California
With their amber stones and green
The count of three
No way!
He has called her from the harbor
He has kissed her with his freedom
He has heard her off to starboard
In the breakin' and the breathin' of the waterwheel
Come on, Pearl! Fly! Come on!
While she was busy bein' free
There's a man who's climbed a mountain
And he's callin' out her name
And he hopes her heart can hear 3,000 miles - he calls again
He can think of her beside him
He can miss her just the same
He has missed her in the forest
While he showed her all the flowers
While she was somewhere bein' free
Pearl?
Pearl... Get up
We're goin' blueberry pickin'
Come
Pearl?...
You believe in fate?
I'm not sure what that means
It means that there are certain things that no matter what you do
that they're meant to happen
They're in the stars
They're bashert, destined
But even if they're in the stars...
a person, a grown-up responsible person, a mensch
can make a different choice
They can make the right choice
You're shtupping someone
What?
The Blouse Man
I am not...
You're shtupping the goddamn Blouse Man
Pearl. How could you do such a thing?
Are you gonna tell Marty?
So it's true
I'm right I'm always right
It's... It's a curse
Why, Pearly?
Have you forgotten who you married?
When your husband was 12 years old, you know what he dreamed of being?
A scientist
So he entered the school science fair
in the hopes of winning a microscope
Such a doorbell he made, I don't even want to tell you about it
It not only rang, it lit up
It chopped liver. It made matzo balls
First prize
He was so proud, Pearl
And when that son-of-a-bitch husband of mine ran out on us
you know what my boy did?
Came to me with $10
And he says to me, "Mama,
you don't ever have to worry
I will take care of you"
Sold the microscope
I never heard that story
Something else you didn't know
The summer that you two met, summer he was waiting on tables at Kramer's
Kramer knew that Marty and I didn't have two nickels to rub together
so he offered to pay for Marty to go to college
But when he got a girl pregnant
no less a guest at the hotel
good-for-nothing Kramer
slammed the door in our face. He...
He turned his back on my boy
What?
You think you're the only one with dreams that didn't come true?
I wondered where you were
I can't do this
I'm married
I have children
Across the morning sky
All the birds are leaving
I understand
Ah, how can they know
It's time for them
To go
- Hey, Marty. How ya doin'? - Hey, Joe!
- Daddy! - Hey, cowboy!
We'll still be dreaming
- How long did it take you this time? - 2 hours and 41 minutes
not including the six minutes it took me to put my shorts on
Neil said it took him two, 20
What'd I tell you about Neil?
- He's a stinkin' liar - That's right
Yuck!
You guys, don't use up all the hot water!
Eighteen days in quarantine
- What? - The astronauts
God, I hope they like each other
Here you go
Ooh... That's strong, Marty
I have waited all week for this moment
Hey, hey, hey... Where you goin'?
Out!
- Where's my kiss? - I have a date, Daddy
A date?
Ross is taking me to the Pines. There's a rock band there
- Ro... Who's Ross? - I'm late!
Who's Ross? I miss one week and already there's a Ross?
He's a nice boy
- How old is he? - Sixteen, I think
Pearl, oh, God, Pearl!
There is no such thing as a nice 16-year-old boy
You can't keep her locked in the bungalow all summer long
No, I can't. That's your job, darling
Besides, it's the principle of the thing
I mean, if we can't go out on dates, she shouldn't be able to either
So take me on a date, Marty
- So who's at the Brickman? - Hmm, Sandy Solo
Shirley Bassey is playing at the Concord
Honey, now see, this is something I would climb a fence to go see
What?
Listen
- What do you hear? - Nothing
Exactly
No kids. No Bubbie
Mmm... Just you and me, Pearl
Ain't it great?
- Ow... Oh, shit. Ow... - What?
- My leg... I gotta... - I'll get it, honey...
Don't... Yeah. I'm okay. I'm okay
I think I'm getting too old for this. Ooh!
- At least it went down - Come here
- You all right? - I'm good. I'm good
All right. It's the steering wheel
- You wanna get in the back? - Yeah
You okay?
No
You wanna go home?
No
Do you want me to do a John Wayne?
Maybe
- All right - We'll miss you, sonny
- Okay. Bye, sweetheart - Drive safe
I will. Tell Neil 7:28
- Bye-bye, love! - Bye, Daddy! Bye!
Attention, everyone... The ice cream man is on the premises
The ice cream man is on the premises
Alison
Well, the First days
Are the hardest days
Don't you worry anymore
'Cause when life looks like easy street
There is danger at your door
Think this through with me
Alison! Let me know you're mine
How will you know if your kids are drowning?
Great legs, man!
What the hell is this? Hey! Hey! Come on. Get out of the water
Come out of the water... Come on!
Go away!
There are children here
Get away!
Come on. Come on. Come on. Get over here
Get away from this lake! It's a private lake!
This is private property! Get out!
Everybody, out of the lake
Everyone, get out of the lake!
Get outta here!
The police have been notified
Put your clothes on, and you get out of this lake now. It's a private lake
I can't go to Woodstock
- It's on Shabbes - We'll leave before Shabbes
- I won't be able to touch money - I'll buy things for you
- I can't rip toilet paper - I'll rip it for you!
That's all I have to do, right?
- I thought you weren't allowed to go - So?
My mother says that you're corrupting me
That's what friends are for
"On this hook, he had a book
On this book was how to cook"
Telephone call for Pearl Kantrowitz
It's for you, Mom
It's like a parking lot. I heard they're gonna close the thruway
Are you gonna try again tomorrow?
No, it's just gonna get worse
They'll be coming up to this Woodstock thing all weekend
Geez, I never knew there was so many hippies, Pearl
Look, I'm gonna head back. I'm sorry
Tell Danny and Alison I said good night
Okay, bye
Pearl?
Don't do it, Pearly
Oy veh
Hello?
We were in Swan Lake and you said to me...
Hello, Ma, how are you?
- You said to me, "Ma,
me and Arnie and Stewie
we're going swimming" - Ma, is everything all right?
Suddenly...
You saw Stewie drowning
so you told us not to go swimming under any circumstances
Right. Did you listen?
No
- And what happened? - Stewie was swimming underwater
and he hit his head on a rock, but I saved him
- And why did you save him? - Because I was extra careful
- And why were you extra careful? - Because of your vision
And why is your cousin Stewie alive today?
Because I saved him
No!
Because of your vision
Correct
All right, Ma, who's going to drown?
You are
I promise I won't go swimming, okay?
Get your tuchis up here, Marty. I don't care what you got to do
What's goin' on, Ma?
Good morning!
What we have in mind
is breakfast in bed for 400,000
We're all feeding each other
We must be in heaven, man!
There's always a little bit of heaven in a disaster area
My God!
We apologize for the noise of the choppity-choppity,
but there are a few cars blocking the road
So we're flying everybody in
Give me that
Freedom, freedom
Sometimes I feel
Like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a
motherless child
Sometimes I feel
Like a motherless child
A long
Way
From my home
Yeah
Yeah, yeah
Bringin' freedom Freedom
Freedom, freedom
Sometimes I feel
Like I'm almost gone
Sometimes I feel
Like I'm almost gone
Sometimes I feel
Like I'm almost gone
Yeah, a long, long, long
Way
Way from my home
Yeah, yeah
Clap your hands Clap your hands
Clap your hands, yeah Clap your hands
Alison?
Alison... Come on, Alison
Alison!
I gotta tell
Alison, what's wrong?
Gimme an M! Gimme a U!
What happened back there?
We can't have a party now
You can't walk all the way to Woodridge
Watch! Gimme a K!
What's that spell? What's that spell?
Attention Irv Gelfand
Could you please remember to bring
the pickled herring to the casino tonight?
Marty
How did you get up here?
Uh...
13 hours and 26 minutes
That was with the back roads
Where were you?
I thought you weren't coming
What the hell is going on, Pearl?
I went to Woodstock
You went to Woodstock?
Was it groovy?
Was it far-out? Out-of-sight?
Yeah
Tell me something, Pearl
Are you screwing someone?
We'll talk about this when you're not upset
I'm not that upset yet
If you tell me you're screwing someone, then I'll be upset
So...
are you?
Yes
Who is he?
You don't know him
What's his name?
Walker
- What's his first name? - That is his first name
What's his last name?
Jerome
Walker Jerome. That's his name?
Does he realize it's backwards?
- Where'd you meet him? - He's a salesman
Truff. This is great
It's like a Johnny Yune routine
So is he a traveling salesman?
- Sort of... - What's he sell?
Blouses
He's the Blouse Man
You're screwing the Blouse Man
Jesus, Pearl...
why didn't you screw the Dress Man?
At least that way you get a whole outfit, you know?
What the fuck were you thinking, huh?
What are you doing, Pearl?
Did you think about this for even a... a second?
Did it ever occur to you what this might do to us?
What this might do to Danny? What it might do to Alison?
I want to know what you think about that, Pearl
Did it cross your fuckin' mind?
Tell me. I want to know if you fuckin' thought about it!
Tell me, Pearl, I want to know
I want to know if you thought about it
Tell me
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry
You're sorry?
- You're sorry - Yeah
What am I supposed to say to you, Pearl?
Am I supposed to say I forgive you? Is that what you want?
Tell me I wanna say what you want me to say right here
'Cause right now I don't know what the fuck I'm doin'
I don't know. I don't know what to...
Okay
So...
what are your plans?
You and the Blouse Man
I don't know
What the hell is that supposed to mean, Pearl?
It means...
I don't know
You don't know?
Okay Okay
Well...
I'll tell you what
You take all the time you need
It doesn't matter
'Cause, to me...
you don't exist anymore
Hi
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey. What is that?
You out of your fuckin' mind?
You all right? Do you believe that?
Calm down. Calm down
What was he thinking?
- Marty. You okay? - Oh, my God
Marty?
I love you, darling
You went away
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you
I wasn't worried
Bubbie let me have Cocoa Puffs for dinner
Yeah?
I want Cocoa Puffs for dinner. Mmm...
How come no one's yelled at me yet?
Because I didn't tell anybody that you went
That's for you to do
Katzileh
Do me a favor
Don't sneak out on your Bubbie like that again
- I'm sorry - Okay
Marty, easy!
What is it, darling?
Sonny, what is it?
Marty!
What is it, love?
Marty, don't!
Come on, Daniel. Let's go. Here we go, kiddo
- Come on. Let's go - What are you doing?
- Marty Please, son! - Marty
Stop, Daddy! Let go of him!
- What are you doing? - It's okay
Marty, let him go
- Marty, please, let him go - Don't do this
- Don't do it! Get in the car - Stop it!
- You're coming too - Let go of me!
- Wanna be free, Pearl? - Let her go!
- Wanna be free? Okay - No!
Don't do this, Marty
No kids, no husband, no family, You're free. Go! Be free! Alison
- Come back here! - No!
Alison!
Marty, stop it!
Hold on to me. Hold on
Okay. All right!
It's okay, Pearl You stay...
You stay and be a whore. I'll go
You're not going anywhere. Give me those keys!
Give me those keys, sonny. You're not going anywhere
Mom, get off the car! Stay out of it!
It's too dangerous!
Goddamn it, son Goddamn it
Ross?
- Ross - I hate Daddy
He's just upset, honey. He's mad at Mommy
He wanted you with him because he loves you so much
Why is he mad at you?
Sometimes grown-ups have fights just the way kids do
And sometimes they have to
think things over before they can make up
Do you understand, huh?
Good
What's a "whore"?
Everything is fucked up
I hate it here. I hate it
- I hate them so much - It's okay
- I just want to be away from them - It's okay
Make them go away
- I want to do it - What?
- Let's go all the way - Alison
- Don't you want to? - I don't know
- Y... You don't want me - No... No, that's not it
Alison, I mean it would be great, but...
Alison, please. Please
- Forget it - Alison, I didn't say that
Just forget the whole thing!
Alison!
Fuck
I'm sorry about what happened with Daddy
Forget it
Where were you?
It's none of your business
Alison
You don't always tell us where you are
I'm a grown-up
Are you?
What's that supposed to mean?
I went all the way with Ross
You are to be in this bungalow by 9:00 pm
every night between now and Labor Day
- You hear me? - Fuck you
- What? - Fuck you!
I never have to listen to you ever again
I saw you
I was there
You should have seen yourself!
You looked disgusting!
I'm the teenager, not you! You had your chance
- No. I didn't - Well, then why do the rest of us
have to suffer just because you fucked up your life?
I did not fuck up my life, Alison!
Things happen. Things happen that you don't plan for
Do you know how old I was when I got pregnant with you, huh?
I was 17, just 3 years older than you are right now, honey
Do you know how many boyfriends I had before I met your father?
None
Do you know how many times I slept with your father
before I got pregnant with you?
Once. That's all it takes, Alison
- I was an accident - Oh. Honey...
Don't think that
Listen to me. That doesn't mean we don't love you
We love you so much. We loved you from the moment we saw you
Are you and Daddy going to get a divorce?
I don't know
You love the Blouse Man more than all of us?
No!
Sometimes it's easier
to be different with a different person
Can't you just try and be different but still stay with us?
Oh, baby
Daddy's just a big square, you know that
But, I mean, he's Daddy. How could you leave him?
I thought you hated us
I do. But that doesn't mean anything
Alison
When you went all the way with Ross
did you use any protection?
We didn't...
We didn't go all the way
We've only gone to first base
Ohh
Save the home run for somebody really special, okay?
What's going to happen?
I don't know... I don't know...
Johnny's in the basement mixin' up the medicine
I'm on the pavement thinkin' about the government
The man in the trench coat Badge out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough Wants to get it paid off
Look out, kid It's somethin' you did
God knows when But you're doin' it again
You better duck down the alleyway lookin' for a new friend
The man in the coonskin cap in a pigpen
Wants 11 dollar bills You only got ten
Maggie comes fleet foot Face full of black soot
Talkin' that the heat put plants in the bed but
Phone's tapped anyway Maggie says that many say
They must bust in early May Orders from the DA
Look out, kid Don't matter what you did
Walk on your tiptoes Don't tie no bows
Better stay away from those who carry around a Fire hose
Keep a clean nose Watch the plainclothes
You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows
Hello
Hi
Did you get home all right?
- Yeah - I was worried
Marty?
We have to talk
How am I supposed to talk to you, Pearl?
I thought you were my family
I got to go to work
I'm sorry
White bird
In a golden cage
White bird
In a golden cage
A lot of maps...
Been to all these places?
Not all of them
Not yet
You ever been out West, Pearl?
No
You want to go with me?
We don't have to wait. We... We... We can just... pack up the bus
Um, we'll just... We'll just camp out all the way across the country
and we'll sleep under the stars every night
Come on
Take your kids
What do you think?
I think...
I need you to take me home
Attention Pearl Kantrowitz
Return to your bungalow immediately
Pearl Kantrowitz, please return to your bungalow immediately!
Pearl, stop! Stop the bus!
Hey! Hey!
Stop!
- Pearl Pearl, it's Daniel - He's been stung by wasps
- What? What? - He's in the kitchen. Go!
What happened to him?
No! These hurt!
Tateleh, Grandma has to pull out the stings
There's Mama. There's your mama
- Mommy! - Mommy's here, honey
You're going to be all right
Wait, ma'am, don't do that. You don't want to break off the stingers
I need some, uh, kind of card
- You got some playing cards? - Yeah
Get that and I need, uh, meat tenderizer
Well, what is he, a pot roast?
- You're going to be all right, honey - Alison. Help him. Help him!
Take
Give me some warm water. Put it in a bowl
Mommy's here
And mix that stuff in there. Let's see. Got of lot of them
- Mommy, it hurts! - I know. You're going to be fine
- Here - Thank you
- I hate wasps! - I know, honey
I know. Look how much they like you, huh?
- They covered you with kisses - Take a deep breath
Take a deep breath, all right? Let it out
He's doing okay
- Gave you so many kisses - You're Daniel, right?
Here, katzi
Daddy!
Hey, cowboy!
- How's my big boy, huh? - Got stung by wasps!
I know, your Bubbie called me
She told me she couldn't find your mommy
Look, I brought you calamine lotion
The Blouse Man fixed me up with Adolf's
Adolf s, huh?
You put meat tenderizer on him?
There's a protein compound in it, uh...
neutralizes the venom
You tweeze out the stingers?
The Blouse Man said that would make it worse
He scraped the stingers out with Bubbie's cards
Oh, yeah? Is that what he said?
Well, I guess that's how it is then, huh?
How long did it take you to get here?
You're not going to believe this, Danny
One hour and 38 minutes
Wow! That's the fastest ever!
You know, my cowboy was in trouble, so...
Thank you
Are you still mad at me, Daddy?
I'm not mad at you, Danny
I could never be mad at you
You know that, right?
Danny, Danny Bo-banny
Banana-fana fo-fanny
Fee Fi mo manny
- Danny! - Danny!
Mommy, Mommy, bo-bommy Banana-fana fo-fommy
Fee Fi mo Mommy Mommy
Alison, Alison Bo-balison...
No, no, no, no!
- No, what? - Could I do Chuck?
Sure!
Chuck, Chuck Mo-buck
Banana-fana fo-fuck
Me my mo muck Chuck!
He's asleep
It wasn't you, Marty
It was me
There were things I wanted to do with my life I...
I don't even remember what some of them were
Somewhere along the line
I disappeared
I stopped being the person you fell in love with
And I wanted...
I wanted to be that way again with you
But I couldn't...
I wanted things too, Pearl
Think I like fixin' TVs?
Think I said, "Gee, that's what I want to be when I grow up"?
I mean...
who knows what I could've been
if I had a chance to go to college
But I didn't
And you know what?
I was okay
Because I figured no matter what I screwed up in my life,
no matted what I felt gypped out of
I had the most important thing right
I had you
Now, I don't...
But I still have one question, Pearl
Who stopped you?
Who stopped you from doing these things?
Did I stop you? I mean, did... did...
Did you ever once come to me and say
"Marty, I want to make a change in my life"?
And did I say, "No, Pearl, you can't"?
Marty...
it's not that simple
I tried. I couldn't always find
the right words, you know, but I...
You... You didn't hear me
You make jokes...
It's true... I'm a bad listener
Not such a good talker, either
And I make jokes
But who stopped you, Pearl?
Hey
Mommy told me I was an accident
- She told you that? - She didn't mean to
It just kind of happened...
Huh
Man. Well...
that's what I told your Bubbie when your mommy got pregnant
Alison...
When I met your mother at the Kramer...
she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen
I couldn't believe she liked me
She laughed at my jokes. She laughed in the dining room...
at what a lousy waiter I was, and I was a lousy waiter...
Anyway, we, uh...
we decided to take a drive
It was a gorgeous, clear August night
Pearl wanted to go see this meteor shower
Alison, it was incredible
It was like fireworks but no noise
That was the night we made you
Maybe it was an accident. I don't know
But, to me, it was and still is
the most important moment in my life
Okay?
How could you just break up then?
If it was so important to you...
doesn't that make you want to stay with her?
Yeah...
You know what? You know, sweetie?
Sometimes things happen between people
that make it impossible for them to stay together
I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry about this
Across the morning sky
Hi
All the birds are leaving
How's Daniel?
Oh, how can they know
He's better. He's okay
It's time for them to go
I can't go
I saw
Before the winter Fire
We'll still be dreaming
I do not count the time
Who knows where the time goes
Who knows where the time
Goes
Before the winter Fire
We'll still be dreaming
You going to fix it or you're going to kill it?
What's that?
How the hell should I know?
Come on. Strike him out!
Haven't seen him in years
I can jump higher
Are you breaking up with me?
Were we going steady?
- Why are you mad at me? - I just feel stupid
The other night and Woodstock...
I feel like you saw me dancing without a shirt
That wouldn't be so bad, would it?
Look, I'm not going to tell anyone anything
I know you want me to be a pacifist, but I told Fogler
if he blabbed his big metal mouth I'd beat the shit out of him
Okay?
Yeah
Attention... The knish man is on the premises
The knish man is on the premises
Sonny
Marty...
So, Mr Hershel comes into the shop and he says,
"I only get good reception if Mrs Hershel stands
diagonally in front of the television set"
The only problem is...
Mrs Hershel, she doesn't want to stand
diagonally in front of the television set
She's... She's got better things to do with her life
"Mr Hershel", I say...
"you need an antenna or a marriage counselor"?
Thank you
You wanted me to tell you what was new at the shop, so...
Thank you
I'm sorry I hurt you
You didn't deserve to get hurt
Can I ask you one question?
Did I want a microscope?
Once...
The whole world
Smiles with you
Dance with me
When you're laughing
Oh, when you're laughing
The sun comes shinin' through
But when you're cryin'
You bring on the rain
So stop your sighin'
Be happy again
Keep on smilin'
'Cause when you're smilin'
The whole world
Smiles with you
I'm not very good at this
Me neither
Purple haze All in my brain
Lately things just don't seem the same
Actin' funny but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I kiss the sky
Purple haze all around
Don't know if I'm climbin' up or down
Let the river
Rock you like a cradle
Climb to the treetops
Try it, if you able
Let your hands
Tie a knot across the table
Come and touch
The things you cannot feel
And close your fingertips
And fly where I can't hold you
Let the sun rain fall
And let the dewy clouds enfold you
Then maybe you can sing to me
The words I just told you
If all the things you feel ain't what they seem
Then don't mind me
'Cause I ain't nothin'
But a dream
And you can follow
Follow
Helplessly hoping
Her harlequin hovers nearby
Awaiting a word
Gasping at glimpses
Of gentle true spirit
He runs wishing he could fly
Only to trip at the sound
Of good-bye
Wordlessly watching he waits by the window
And wonders at the empty place inside
Heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams
He worries Did he hear a good-bye
Or even
Hello
They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for
Each other
Look over yonder
What do you see
The sun is a-risin'
Most definitely
A new day is comin'
People are changin'
And beautiful
Crystal blue persuasion
Better get ready
Want to see the light
Love, love is the answer
That's all right
So don't you give up now
It's so easy to find
Just look to your soul
Open your mind
Crystal blue persuasion
It's a new libation
Crystal blue persuasion
It's a new libation